“A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body etc”. Whilst it says something about what ‘a fetish’ is, it also doesn’t put any meat on any bones.
At points in my sexual voyage of discovery I have come across things that I find down right bizarre. Just at the point of making a judgement or snide comment I take a step back and realise that I in the same band. I have a kink that has no rhyme or reason. Who am I to think that someone who wants to dress up as a baby and sleep in a cot is any weirder than me who has an obsession with PVC and latex? Is a sploshing enthusiast more peculiar than me as a boot fetishist?
The joy of being comfortable and, to a limited degree, educated about these things I am no longer in a place where I see other fetishes odd where as mine are just ‘quirky’.
My tipping point was a discussion on fetlife about ‘findom’ AKA financial domination. My gripe was what I perceived to be ‘fake’ dommes on twitter setting up a profile and demanding money from ‘paypigs’. It stank as a scam to me; girls not ‘in the scene’ realising they could use a hashtag and screw someone for money. I raised this and was countered with comments from people who said that those involved as the so called paypigs have their eyes open and that may well be their thing. They may enjoy being an irrelevance to a younger girl who is doing exactly as I perceive; using them solely for money. Whilst it makes no sense to me whatsoever, for someone else it may well be the biggest thrill in the world.
My eyes had been opened. People know what they like and act on it. To coin a well worn phrase – each to their own.
Some fetishes have a level of logic to them. Sploshers are drawn to being messy as an act of rebellion or personal liberation from societal constraints. Foot fetish theories range from the feet and genital areas neighbouring each other in the somatosensory cortex in the brain to the fact the lowest part of a woman can be idolised as part of a femdom scenario.
My own peccadillo is latex and PVC. I have been drawn to this as long as I can remember yet I don’t know why. One theory is that it acts as a second skin so gives a subconscious naked image. Another is that the kink comes from the smell or the touch. For me I just love the look of it and link it to the greater fetish scene. My early imagery of the BDSM world is inextriblly linked to black shiny clothing.
Going back to the original definition at the start, the phrase ‘abnormal’ sounds a little negative. I prefer to call it ‘less mainstream’. Variety is after all the spice of life. Now does anyone need a latex shine?