It seems a long while since I wrote it but I wanted to share Chapter One of More Than Whips and Chains with you all just to get it out there and hopefully whet the appetite of some of you. All feedback welcome.
It has always intrigued me where we get our primeval desires from. Why does one person have a preference for brunettes whilst another prefers redheads? Why does one person like tall girls whilst another lusts after larger women? Taking it to a more basic level, why does one person like being tied up by a latex clad dominatrix whilst another would be mortified at the thought?
What series of triggers and experiences form these preferences? There is a school of thought that people in a position of power in the professional lives like to be dominated. The logic is they hold such power during the day that they like to balance it out by relinquishing power in a sexual environment. There is also a theory that people who were abused can mimic those traits and develop a sadistic nature. Alas I am neither an example of any of those nor a qualified enough to talk any more about psychology and behavioural patterns.
What I can talk about however is my experiences and how I have interpreted them. I wasn’t beaten as a kid, I don’t have a traumatic experience that framed my psyche and I certainly don’t head up a billion dollar hedge fund employing a trillion people. It could be described as uneventful childhood, but it was certainly a happy one. I never wanted for anything and was well looked after. I grew up in a settled family home with two parents and no siblings to steal my parents attention. Could it be that because I was relatively used to getting my own way and didn’t have to make any sacrifices that I almost fall in to a lesser version of the ‘people in a position of power’ hypothesis? It is plausible and with no other alternative I think I am going to stick with that as my working theory.
One thing I can’t be accused of is being shy or introverted, so once I identified my interests I set about exploring them. I have always held the opinion that life is too short to wonder ‘what if’ and followed every interest and idea the best I can. Whilst it is easier to follow an interest in stamp collecting a little less secretively than one in BDSM, I have utilised the tools at my disposal well and experienced quite a lot in my twenty years.
From role play with teenage girlfriends to attendance at fetish clubs I have tried most things. The conflict for me has been ‘real life’ and its limitations. A part of me is intrigued by the 24/7 aspect of submission, but for me it hasn’t been practical. Does this make me less of a submissive than someone else? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. What I plan to explore and detail is my experiences and my emotions throughout. There have been times where vanilla life took over and there have been times when I’ve been in intensely kinky situations. I look forward to sharing them all with you over the next few chapters.